Hey Tessa
by Chikasumi Kurotsuki
Summary: One shot about Tessa and Will. Tessa is gone and Will wants nothing more than to hold her in his arms one more time. Will he get his wish?


**The song **_**Hey Lucy**_** by Skillet is the inspiration for this story. It is about Will's love for Tessa and how he wishes he could have done things differently while she was still alive. Hope you enjoy it. **

Will made his way through the grave yard with his arms crossed over his chest, trying to keep the cold out without crushing the flowers he carried. His footsteps were soundless even while walking on the dead leaves of fall. Finally he reached the grave stone he hadn't had the heart until today to visit. He fell to his knees before they gave out and wiped away the leaves that had blown up against the marker. Then Will placed the dozen red roses he had bought carefully onto the dead grass.

Suddenly feeling a little overwhelmed he started to doubt what the others had said about him needing closure and that this was the only way. Taking a deep breath he read the grave stone:

_Theresa "Tessa" Gray_

_Death July 29, 1878,_

_in the 16 year _

_of her life._

To Will's dismay, his breathe shook and before he could stop himself his body was wracked with the tears of uncontrollable grief that he had been able to keep at bay until now. It wasn't fare, none of it was fare. He hadn't even gotten the chance to really know her before her life was whisked away like dandelions in the wind. What he wouldn't give to be able to feel her gaze on him, to look into her eyes, to hear her voice, to just hold her even. But none of that was possible. And what made it even worse was the fact that he had treated her no better than a pesky fly that wouldn't stop bothering him.

"I'm sorry, Tess. I'm so sorry that I didn't treat you right while you were still here, when it mattered." Will whispered to the cold piece of slate, his cracked heart completely shattering.

"It's your birthday today. When Jem first told us Charlotte decided she was going to through you a birthday ball. She was going to invite the Lightwood boys and Magnus I think. Perhaps a few others even, it would have been a very simple ball, but you would have loved it. But that was months ago, before…" Will choked up, not able to finish his sentence.

When he had once again gained some composure he continued. "I brought you roses, I know they can't make up for everything I've done, or haven't done really, but I hope you still like them."

Not knowing what to say he just knelt there, his mind wondering and finally going back to a happier time, a time when Tessa's heart still had a beat and her lungs breathed air.

"William," Tessa said a bit stiffly, no doubt still angry at him from the way he had acted the night before.

Will had found her in the library reading _A Tale of Two Cities_. He had walked around the Institute for the last half hour looking for her; he should have known to look in the library first. But he had thought she might be with Jem or helping Charlotte with something.

"Tessa, won't you please come with me for a walk?" He asked with a great deal of hope.

Tessa sighed as she placed the book down in her lap and looked at him; she must have seen something in his expression or heard something in his voice because her eyes softened a bit.

"Very well, if you insist." Tessa replied. "Just let me put the book back first."

"I'll wait for you at the door." Will said as he felt relief replace his anxiousness.

He didn't wait long at the door before Tessa made her way towards him. Will offered her his arm as they went outside and Tessa put her arm on his. It was sunny for once and the weather had warmed up. It was one of a very few lovely days in London and Will was dead set on taking advantage of it. They had spent the rest of the day walking around the city, talking. They didn't argue and he wasn't overly sarcastic. It was nice.

A shiver went through Will's body as the wind picked up and he was brought back to the present. He didn't let he mind stay in the present for long though as he let his mind wonder again. As he did he remembered the first time he had saw Tessa, the day he had saved her from the Dark Sisters. He remembered the conversations they had about books they had read , he remembered the ball at de Quincey's, and so much more. Tessa bringing the holy water with her to the attack and their first kiss, finding her bleeding on the floor and being on the edge of despair as she called his name and hugged him, watching her hold her own in the Consul, waking her up from nightmares, going with her to the ball at Lightwoods, throwing himself over her to protect from the explosion, finding out that he wasn't cursed and it had all been a lie, and so many more memories.

Will didn't know how many times he had dreamed of walking with Tessa hand in hand, of holding her in his arms, hearing her laugh, feeling her kisses, just being by her side. Without evening meaning to he fell asleep. He didn't realize he had until he opened his eyes and he was no longer in the grave yard, but be the river in summer.

Will looked around confused and then his breath caught in his throat when he saw her dressed in blue gown with her hair down. As if feeling his presence she turned around and smiled at him.

"Tess," Will said in disbelief.

"Will," Tessa said with pleasure and Will found himself running to her and into her arms.

He picked her off the ground and turned in a circle before sitting her back down, but he didn't let go of her, afraid that if he did she would disappear.

"Will, you may just break me." Tessa laughed and very reluctantly Will loosened his hold on her and stepped back, but kept his hand around her waist.

"Tess," Will said again, still not believing his eyes.

"Oh, Will, how I've missed you." Tessa said with a bit of sadness creeping into her voice.

"I missed you too. I still miss you."

"I know." Tessa smiled and grabbed his hands. "Let's go for a walk."

Will nodded and allowed her to lead the way, her hand in his. After walking a while in silence Tessa stopped and looked at him. Without thinking about it Will pulled her close to him and kissed her and kept kissing her. He never wanted to stop, because he knew he may never get to feel his whole body tingle and his heart sore as it was right at the moment. He may never be able to her Tessa whisper his name between their lips. Finally the kiss did stop and they were both breathless and Tessa's chicks had reddened a little and her eyes seemed almost dazed. Before he let her step back again he breathed in her sent and ran his fingers through her hair. Will kissed her gently on the neck, causing her to shiver, and then stepped back and placed his hand back into hers.

"Will." Tessa said gently as she looked up at him.

"I don't want this to end," Will said.

Tessa looked at him with sad knowing eyes and smiled a little. "I know, and neither do I."

"Then why does it?"

"Because you have to go back to Charlotte and Henry and everyone else." Tessa replied.

"But what if I could stay?" Will said, his heart feeling as if it might break all over again.

"You can't stay, Will. You still have a life to live."

"Tess-"

"Listen to me, William Herondale, you still have a purpose in life. You still have a future, one that no matter how you look at it was never meant to include me. I know this had been tough on you, but one day you will not even miss me anymore. I know that sounds impossible and terrible, but it is the truth. I don't want you to give up because of me; I want you to continue living. Promise me you will." Tessa's voice was strong and forceful. Will could tell that she meant every word she had just said and she believed them. He could also tell by the look in her eyes that it hurt her to say them and that she knew it hurt him to hear them. But she was right, and they both knew it. Will felt a tear slide down his cheek as he squeezed his eyes shut to prevent the rest from falling and he was mad with himself for being so weak.

Tessa placed her hand on the side of his face and Will opened his eyes as he leaned his cheek against the smoothness of her skin. With a somewhat shaky breath Will nodded and tried to smile at her.

"It won't be forever you know. After you have lived your life we will get to see each other again and we won't ever have to leave each other's sides ever again." Tessa said softly as she gazed into his eyes.

"I love you so much, Tess." Will said as he brushed his free hand down the side of her face.

"I know, I love you, too." Tessa said with a sad smile.

Will leaned his forehead against hers and then took a step back. "I'm sorry." He said, wanting to tell her while he knew she could hear him.

"Goodbye, Will." Tessa said as she placed a quick kiss on his cheek and then started to walk away. Will's heart tightened a little as he watched her fade away forever.

Will opened his eyes and saw that the sun was going down and that the wind had stopped but it had gotten a little cooler. Sitting up, Will ran his hand down the cold stone and then traced the letters that made up her name. He then stood up stiffly and stood there. He kill still feel the warmth of her lips pressed against his cheek, could still hear her voice.

"Goodbye, Tess." Will said, and with a heavy heart he turned around and walked away.

….

…..…

…

Will had more flowers in his hand as he stood in front of the grave of the first girl to ever possess his heart. Today would have been her fifty-eighth birthday, though she would still appear to be sixteen. It had been a long forty-two years, but Will had kept his promise to her. He had continued to live life, even when he didn't want to. In fact today was only the second time he had allowed himself to visit her grave, knowing that he wouldn't be able to keep his promise to move on if he continued to visit her. After the numbness had disappeared, there had been pain, and then he had been angry with her for asking him to just forget she had existed, and then he had understood what she had really wanted and had been able to move on. It had taken years, but he had managed. The only thing he hadn't been able to do was to stop loving her, which was something that he could never stop doing. He had never been able to completely forgive himself for all of the harsh things he had said and done to her, but he had managed to accept that there was nothing he could do to change that. Something that he had no choice to come to terms with.

He still had dreams of being with her, of holding her in his arms and hearing her voice. But he never had another dream where he could feel her touch even after he woke. Will knew that that was the last time she had been real, that after that she truly was gone. Every dream after that really was just that, a dream. She had been write about a lot of things, but she hadn't been write about him forgetting her. He could never forget her. There were days when she wouldn't come into his mind, but those were the days when the dreams were the most realistic at night.

Will took a knee in front of the marker and traced his fingers over the letter carved into the slate.

"Hello, my dear Tess. It had been a very long time."

**I know I should be working on my other stories instead of this, but I'm stuck at the moment on both of them and I thought this was better than nothing at all. Please tell me what you think. I also hope you listen to the song if you are not familiar with it.**


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